Why must we always justify relaxing and judge being "lazy" to be such a bad thing?
Why is the word LAZY so offensive? Why do we attach such negative connotations to the word?
I had a visit from my mum last week and she said to me, "Well, it's not been a very relaxing week has it?"
I smiled and said nothing.
I am fortunate to live in a warm climate and when she visited it wasn’t quite warm enough to sunbathe. My mum loves to sunbathe. She lays all day and reads, sleeps, doses off and at that moment I understood her disappointment.
She didn’t have her reason, her excuse, a way to justify doing nothing at all. Without that excuse, she was ‘lazy’.
My mum was welcome to sit all day long, for seven days, on my sofa and stare at the ceiling. To read, to watch TV, to do whatever she wanted, which clearly was to do nothing at all.
It begs the question, why do we need to justify doing nothing at all?
Why do we wait for holidays to relax?
Why do we use a glass of wine at the end of the day as justification to sit down (my mum does this every night)? Why do we use time as a justification to sit and do nothing?
‘It's seven now, we can sit and relax’ or on the flip side ‘we can’t sit around all day, it's beautiful out there’ or ‘we can’t just read at 3 in the afternoon, save it for later’ … or watch TV or again, stare out of a window (insert whatever you do to relax here)…. My classic go-to was ‘If I go on a run, then I can relax’ (my mum does this every day).
I ask again, why do we need to justify doing nothing at all?
We live in a world where image is everything. That's the way social media and our consumer-driven world would have us think anyway.
I have faith in the human race and wholeheartedly believe that people see more than meets the eye but, it’s very easy to forget that what we look like isn’t all that important.
We only need to log on to social media or see an advertisement to be shown an image of ‘perfection’. The perfect body, the perfect job, always striving to be a bit more perfect.
If not that, it’s how to ensure you maintain that level of ‘perfection’.
I don’t always mean the body you live in, sure, that needs to be perfect, we know that, but also the ‘perfect’ mum, sister, worker, boss, runner, yogi, whatever label you have perhaps attached to yourself.
With all this need to be ‘perfect’ of course doing nothing seems like a waste of time. So without the excuse of sunbathing or having a glass of wine, it can feel hard to do nothing when you’re supposed to be busy, out there in the big wide world, striving for your version of perfection.
Especially when it means you can brag about it or you feel like someone is watching and/or judging.
I understand that being lazy is considered ‘bad’… but my mum falls asleep whenever she sits down for more than a second. Perhaps without the wine, she would sleep better, perhaps just laying down, whatever the weather, inside or out, would give her body a chance to relax, her mind a moment to settle.
FYI, I’m no sleep expert and I enjoy a glass of wine now and then….
So what has this got to do with overeating, binging, emotional eating, food obsession, exercise obsession? Well, perhaps if I had allowed myself to accept that perfectionism doesn’t exist, that I don’t have to keep up an image of ‘having it all’, ‘perfect body’ ‘fit’ ‘amazing mum’ ‘good worker’ etc.
If I just stopped and allowed myself some time to do nothing, I would have listened to who I wanted to be rather than what society expected of me. I wouldn’t have followed the ‘food rules’, embarked on the rigorous exercise regimes, and failed attempts at perfection. I wouldn’t have shattered my self-worth, I wouldn’t have criticized myself for not being enough. I wouldn’t have had ‘good’ or ‘bad’ days based on what I ate or what exercise I did. I wouldn’t have micromanaged food and then used it as a source of comfort.
I might have listened to my body and found a balance, I might have been kinder to myself. I sure know that endless diets and exercise plans didn’t help me, and I know NOW that I do listen to my body most of the time and I am kinder to myself most of the time. Ain’t no perfection here thankfully <3
If you can relate to my mum, please, whatever the weather, just have a minute to yourself, whatever the time. Just a minute. You have a minute. I hope it turns into more than just the one.
BE LAZY - in the most positive way you can.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hollie is a single mum to a lovely little girl. She is from England and recently moved to Cyprus. Having promoted ‘healthy’ eating and rigorous training through social media, embarking on fitness regimes and ‘healthy lifestyle changes', she felt very alone and in reality struggled with self-confidence, body image issues, and constant negative self-talk caused predominantly by chasing and maintaining the ‘perfect’ body, through obsessive dieting and exercise. Hollie has now rebuilt her relationship with food and her body through techniques she has learned with E-CET and understands that food shouldn’t come with rules and fears.
She is currently training to be an E-CET Coach and is passionate about helping other women like her understand the reasons behind the obsessive food and exercise thoughts, the binging, overeating, and emotional eating. She wants women everywhere to feel the sigh of relief she felt when she finally threw away the diet plan, took off her smartwatch, and embraced her health on her own terms.
EMBODIED COGNITIVE EATING TRAINING CAN HELP YOU
The Academy is a specialized group coaching course. It combines a wide range of scientifically proven, evidence based modalities into an easy-to-follow step-by-step process that helps you understand why you can't stop eating in ways that don't serve your best interests and how to stop. It has been meticulously crafted and tested for almost three years with one goal in mind - helping you move past all the things that are keeping you stuck repeating the same self-destructive patterns so you can find peace and start living and feeling better.