My name is Raquel. I am originally from Spain but now I live in Boston.
I would love to share my story with food, dieting and body image.
My hope is that my story inspires other people to break free from dieting. My deepest desire is that no more people waste their life obsessed with food, dieting and having a perfect body like I did.
This is my story:
When I was a child, I ate when I was hungry and stopped when I was full. It was easy and natural. I was always pretty tiny and didn’t have any problem with food.
I never liked my body though. I always thought there was something wrong with it, like, it was never good enough.
Then when I first went to college, I started to gain a little weight - maybe 4-6 pounds.
I remember some of my friends making jokes about my body and my boyfriend at the time told me that my arms were big.
That’s all it took. I started my first diet with my sister and here is where everything started.
From then on, I started to get obsessed about my body and with food.
I started learning about calories, and counting them. I started to control what I ate, and how much.
I started to see carbs instead of potatoes or rice, I started to see fat instead of butter or meat… everything was about macros and calories instead of just eating and enjoying life.
For years the majority of my thoughts were around food.
I was obsessed about what to eat and when.
My entire purpose in life was to lose weight and to be fit.
I tried every diet and strategy I could find to try to make it happen and my obsession just kept growing.
I was obsessed with eating super clean and exercising because I wanted to have a healthy lifestyle, but I wasn’t happy.
I wasn’t enjoying what I was eating, or the exercise I was doing.
All it was doing was constantly draining me.
I was always thinking about it. I couldn’t focus on anything but this. I wasn’t enjoying life because I was always thinking about food and trying to control my intake and what my body looked like.
It was a very painful time.
Whenever I tried to restrict, I ended up bingeing - always feeling guilty, sick, and full - and never enjoying what I was eating.
And I didn’t want to feel anything. Emotions, stress, etc.. I always avoided feeling it all - food was my escape.
I kept restricting myself from eating certain foods or at certain times but then I’d end up bingeing and feeling completely out of control around food.
I felt like I just didn’t have control around food and that made me feel miserable.
And, I didn’t have any space left in my brain for other things in my life - I was so consumed with thoughts about food and how much I disliked my body and needed to change it.
After 7 years of trying every diet, studying a lot about nutrition, health, and even emotional eating I was desperate to make peace with food.
I tried so many different things but what really made the difference for me was the Cognitive Eating Academy.
I had so many breakthroughs while doing the program.
I started to be more conscious about what and why I was eating.
I started to understand why I was thinking about food all the time, the importance of learning to just eat what I wanted to eat, because I really began to see that what made me feel so out of control around food was the deprivation and restriction I was putting myself through.
Little by little I stopped restricting, started to eat whenever I was hungry and I started to notice why I was eating.
Cognitive Eating helped me learn to start asking myself powerful questions before eating - questions that helped me uncover why I was eating in ways that didn't always serve me - while still allowing myself to eat anything I wanted.
That was key for me - the freedom to choose what I wanted to eat while listening to my own body’s unique needs, and my emotional needs.
I stopped listening to other people’s rules about food and instead I started to follow my own rules for my body and for my life.
I started to accept my body more and to thank it for all the things it gives me and does for me every day instead of focusing on my appearance.
Now, I feel free in my skin.
I don’t think about food that much and I have so much more mental energy to focus on things that are important to me.
I trust myself and feel the healthiest I’ve ever felt.
I feel more creative, I feel more energetic and enthusiastic, and I love myself more than ever.
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